Late last night, I was getting my Facebook fix after spending the afternoon with my family.
A photo of a girl I went to high school with popped up on my timeline and I was shocked, and I mean, pause the episode of Friends I was watching, rub my eyes a little, turn on the lamp on the end table next to me like that was going to help me see better SHOCKED…
And I don’t mean, sixteen years old, “rawrrr means I love you in dinosaur”, no clue what the term “contraception” means, pregnant. I mean stable boyfriend, future all panning out, good family life, this is the new norm, type of pregnant.
And I won’t even lie to you. Seeing that made me feel lonely.
How can someone my age have the whole rest of their life already basically set in stone? Am I wasting precious time? I don’t know.
I’ve been single for a while now and don’t get me wrong, I’m totally loving it. I haven’t shaved my legs in WEEKS and there’s no one around to yell at me!
But I’d be lying if I tried to tell ya I don’t get those pangs of loneliness that hit my gut like a commercial train going 100 miles per hour. Because I do.
BUT, if we weren’t meant to survive on our own, we’d still be hanging by an umbilical cord.
Okay, gross, Carolyn. No, but seriously. Could you imagine if you were never ever alone? Like, you’re peeing with an audience.
What I’m very poorly trying to say is… you can do it on your own. You CAN and you WILL.
You are a badass. No one else controls your bad-assery.
This is one of those things I’ve struggled with for a long time; the fact that I am 150% in control of how I feel about myself. Because please don’t tell me that I’m the only one that deems a Snapchat valid until that certain someone sees it? Or they like your selfie on Instagram?
And that’s the thing. Your selfie is poppin’ whether your crush double-taps or not. Your good morning snap made your best friend smile, despite whoever else saw it. The great outfit was not wasted because the guy you like didn’t see you in the hall today.
don't forget to be a badass today 💪🏼⭐️ pic.twitter.com/eAhyQIcUsn
— Carolyn (@misscarolynxo) September 15, 2016
For every one person that hates you, 50 will like you.
No, seriously. As a girl who has spent the last 7 years putting up makeup videos + way too many Picnik’ed selfies on Facebook over the years, I’ve opened myself to more criticism than Trump’s Twitter account… okay, maybe that one’s got me beat.
I get hater comments on the daily, it’s like, “Hey, Carolyn, hope you’re enjoying your morning coffee, here’s a comment telling you you’re a filthy whore for wearing makeup and liking skin care.” Yeah, I’m not kidding.
But you know me to be the last person to breed negativity, never mind pay any mind to it.
And that goes for your social life; you are loved. You have friends and family and people around you that think you’re the baddest bitch. NO man will convince you that your contour is as fleeked as your girl friends say it is. NO man will know you as well as your mother does.
What you seek in a guy is usually pieces of everything everyone else is already giving you, just all spread out.
Vibe. Good vibes, happy vibes, ALL but negative vibes.
Learn to not give way to those lonely feelings. AKA, stop scrolling through your favorite IG couple’s feed. And get off of your ex’s Twitter. Caught ya, didn’t I? Because #same.
The less of those lonely, negative, burdened feelings you let in, the happier you’ll feel. You don’t need to let the sad win. Some days, it will. But the rest of those days, it shouldn’t.